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Students in Quarantine: A Photo Project, Part 2
© Denis Mareyno
We continue to post Denis Mareyno’s project, Students in Quarantine. If you want to participate in the project, send a message via VK.
Eva Pogosyan, third-year student, Philosophy
What new experiences have you gained in isolation?
I have started hanging out with my younger sister more. She is 17. We got along well enough before this, but now, we are just like CatDog. We lie on the couch under a blanket, our heads propped opposite one another, just doing whatever. I was sure that we would kill each other, but the opposite has happened. Now we get along even better.
I’ve started knitting. I watched some videos on YouTube, and just a day before Moscow officially went on lockdown, my mom and I went to the arts and crafts store, Leonardo. I felt like I needed to do something, so I bought some needles and yarn. And I got into knitting. A scarf I’ve been working on is now probably as long as I am tall. It’s like the quarantine: I don’t know when it will end.
Has the number of hours that you are active changed?
I have never been a productive person. It’s hard for me. But now, I have much less focused activities and work, because, before the quarantine, the university had been the main source of this.
I attended classes and had to do something. Then, I went out with friends, who also used to do something, and we helped each other be productive. But since I am now in quarantine in an apartment that is not mine, I have no personal space anymore, and I often have a hard time focusing.
How have your studies changed with the transition to online learning?
I’ll put it this way: I like it a lot. Since I am in my third year, we are supposed to have a two-week internship. We had no classes, except for a minor course once a week. I did nothing for two weeks. Then, we had our first class, and I switched on! I was so productive! I was listening, answering questions, reading the text, and it was so energizing!
At the same time, there is none of the usual pressure—ugh, I’ve got to get up, ugh, I’ve got to get dress , ugh, I have to get to campus. And although I live in the city centre, it’s still hard for me. I think that I’m fine with it. If we continue studying like this till the end of the year, I have absolutely no objections.
I need a lot of time to warm up, and I have huge problems with concentration. Even though I’m really interested in what I study. When I’m at home, outside of the academic environment, I feel no pressure related to my classmates who, for example, are very, very smart, great people and have achieved much more than I have.
Today, I understand that I am Eva, I am alone, I study, and I do not compare myself to anyone.
What challenges have you encountered with the transition?
My internship is over, and soon classes will be in full swing again. Then, we’ll see. I often wing it at seminars. I assume it might be harder to do that online. It’s easier for me in person; I can better hide the fact that I don’t understand something if I’m face-to-face with someone.
It’s also challenging now that I’m not living not on my own, but with my mom and two younger siblings who also have classes. It’s difficult to situate ourselves around the apartment in a way that keeps us from disturbing each other.
How has your work changed?
I work as a makeup artist, and my work has come to a stop entirely. I do makeup for myself and take pictures of it with my phone to keep my online professional account alive.
How has your communication with other people changed, and particularly, with those you are isolating with?
With my friends, nothing has changed. Obviously, we can’t meet in person, but that’s how it is for everyone. If we talk by phone, which I don’t do often, since it requires more effort, we talk for hours. If we talk over Zoom, that’s the best—it is just a lot of fun.
We are now valuing words more. A friend, who I’ve been friends with for 15 years, recently said, ‘Eva, I love you,’ and we don’t have the kind of relationship where we say ‘I love you’ or call each other ‘hon’. We don’t do this, so I understood that she means it, or, maybe she is just desperate (laughs). My relationship with my sister has become stronger. We have become one, eternally tired, body.
In terms of my mom, I had moved out, because it was difficult for us to live together under one roof. It was difficult for us, because we are completely different people. We have different understandings of comfort, daily routine, and some other things that are essential for her but unimportant for me.
Recently, when I was talking with a friend, I said, ‘During the quarantine, I’ve been reminded of why I moved out.’ Many people get along better with their families when they’re apart. Parents do not always understand that you are now an adult. An adult that is quite different from them at that. You have different principles, values, and ways of spending your time than them. And you often see things in a much simpler light.
For example, while in quarantine, I cut my hair, simply because I wanted to. And this brought on a show of hysterics, slamming doors, and ignoring me for two days – simply because I cut my hair! You understand that you love these people, but also you understand that you can’t live together.
Our generation engages in dialogue. For example, you are now interviewing me and other students. We understand how important it is to talk, to verbalize our emotions, to try to find out why you are upset, to try to find out why the person you are talking to is upset. For many people from our parents’ generation… Let’s just say, this is not the case with them.
I noticed that the calmer I talk, the more dissatisfaction, frustration, and aggression I get. This is hard. But it’s much harder for those who are currently locked down with people who abuse them. I can’t imagine what it’s like for them right now.
Do you feel comfortable staying at home at all times? How are you dealing with it?
The ban itself plays a role. Maybe you don’t need to go out, but the fact that you can’t do it is depressing. This is even more depressing than sitting around doing nothing.
My mom’s apartment building is circular-shaped, and the whole circular territory is gated. There is a grocery shop inside the circle, and every three days, I go there to buy cigarettes, milk, eggs, and other necessities. During these escapes, I walk a couple of laps around the building. This makes me feel a little better.
At the same time, it’s not very comfortable because I’m in a mask, which makes it harder to breathe, and rubber gloves, which make my hands sweat. I’ve caught myself and other people walking in a similar way—sometimes stopping, making sure there is no one within a radius of several meters, taking off the mask, taking a deep breath, and continuing on their way. It looks like a kind of dystopia. Very funny and very sad.
It is also hard, because if I were to get an order, I would get an official travel permit so that I could go to work, and if someone were to hear about it, I would get a wave of disapproval from people who simply don’t understand that they live in a bubble of privilege. Being able to stay home is a huge privilege. People complain that they have to work from home, and I understand them. But please don’t blame the people who have to go to work. They don’t do it for fun, they have to earn money to buy food and pay rent. I don’t understand this disapproval, and it makes me uncomfortable.
I also feel uncomfortable when I think about talking to my landlord and asking them to charge me at a reduced rate during the quarantine (laughs). Everyone is doing this, but it scares me.
What will be the first thing you do after the limitations on travel around the city, the country, and the world are lifted?
I will go to Yerevan.